Judy Shepard
Answers OUT Spoken’s questions

Matthew's mom doesn't mind blushing at Alec Mapa's jokes if it helps elect Obama and pass hate crimes legislation.

Joining me now is Judy Shepard, Matthew Shepard's mother. Do you ever get tired of watching Alec Mapa perform?
No. No, I don't. He's a laugh a minute. He's always funny, even if it's the same joke.

What about when he goes, do you ever blush at some of his jokes?
Oh my God, are you kidding? Of course! And I don't get them all either, but I think he's hilarious and I think he's a wonderful gentleman.

How did you meet Alec and what is that friendship like that you've been building?
I've always been a huge fan, and I think he's just wonderful. We were at an event together several years ago, a Human Rights Campaign event, and I introduced myself to him, having been a fan for a long time. We just sort of hit it off and became good friends, working towards the same cause -- equality.

He's very talented and a very giving, empathetic gentleman, and I enjoy his company very much. He's been doing things with the foundation that are really pretty amazing and generous on his own, on his own behalf, on our behalf. So it's been quite a relationship.

Now he's having a huge comedy event in San Francisco. It happens on September 13th at the Castro Theatre. It's a huge venue. How does humor impact the work that you do and keep you going?
Our lives have to be infused with humor. I think everyone understand it. I think sometimes some people relate to seeing things in a ridiculous nature before they understand really how seriously ridiculous things are, in denying people their rights and in discrimination. If we can look at them in a different perspective, maybe from a humorous side, all of a sudden it becomes an ‘ah ha' moment for many people. We have to bring joy and life into people's lives even after the tragedy of loosing Matt. To forgo that would have been something that Matt would have not wanted ever. Our lives are still filled with joy, it's just different now.

Do you have a funny story to tell me about Matt? Was he funny, was he...?
Oh Matt was very funny, he had a very wry sense of humor, which makes telling stories about him impossible. He laughed easily, encouraged others and smiled a lot.

Tell me about the Matthew Shepard [Hate Crimes] Act, where are we in getting that passed?
We're waiting for the new administration to come into power. Feeling very secure, I am, and hopeful that indeed it will pass this time, that it will make it all the way through. It did pass the House and the Senate last time, but got lost.

Who is best, at this time in country's history, to lead this country and to get the Matthew Shepard Act passed?
You know, all you have to do is just look at their voting records. McCain has voted against us all the time. And even though Obama's record is not 100% -- he's still isn't quite there on marriage -- he's with us on most everything else. He understands it's a Civil Rights issue and McCain has just not got there yet. So it's pretty obvious it's Obama and his campaign. Hopefully fair-minded, like-thinking Senators and Congressmen will also be elected to support these issues.

It's not just the President we have to worry about this election cycle, it's the Senators and the Congressmen as well. Obama can't do this by himself; he needs the support of Congress. So we need to be conscious of everyone we vote for.

How does working with the Foundation help you grieve and remember your son?
Well it gives me the opportunity, Dennis [Shepard, Matthew's father] and Login [Shepard], Matt's brother as well, the opportunity to still be part of Matt's community and work with young people and people who could have been Matt's friends.

You know I think the importance of getting my message across is really the most important thing. You just have to 'cowboy up' and tell the story in a way that everyone will understand it. It's about our children, their lives and their safety, and our love for all children. Young people, anyone who is harassed for being different, whatever that difference may be. We just have to start caring about people again and that's really what really moves me. Understand that if I can relate to anyone on a level that they will understand and that's family, then that works.

I really don't talk about what happened to Matt anymore. I'm more concern now about, ‘Yes, it happened, but what has happened since? Why have we not taken care of these issues in the past ten years?' That's what concerns me the most, and that's what I talk about.

I talk about Matt to relate to the audience, but I don't really talk about what happened to Matt that much.

Let's just get the other stuff done and make life equal for everyone.

Comedy at the Castro with Alec Mapa and Shann Carr benefiting the Matthew Shepard Foundation. September 13, 2008, 8pm Castro Theatre, 429 Castro Street, San Francisco. Tickets $30-70 available at comedyatthecastro.com