Kate Clinton
By Tim Gaskin

Meet Actress, writer, host, and comedian Kate Clinton. America’s first out lesbian on the comedy circuit, years before Ellen DeGeneres outed herself on her TV sit-com show Ellen.

What are you most known for? 
Besides garnishing?  26 years of performing standup comedy.
 
Where did your life begin? 
When I got my IPOD.
 
What is your idea of perfect happiness? 
A cup of coffee and the NYTimes Sunday crossword puzzle.
 
What is your greatest fear? 
A wrathful Will Shortz.
 
Which historical figure do you most identify with? 
Mother Teresa. I also look good in blue and have my doubts about god.
 
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? 
Comparing myself to other people  Compare, despair.

What is your greatest extravagance? 
Eyeglasses.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? 
Manliness.

What is your favorite journey? 
Out the fireroad in Provincetown, MA.
 
What do you dislike most about your appearance? 
When flight attendants say, "What'll you have, sir?"
 
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? 
Okay. Excellent.
 
What is your greatest regret? 
Ask me again in twenty years.

What or who is the greatest love of your life? 
My galpal of 20 years.
 
When and where were you happiest? 
Drinking coffee, doing the Sunday Times crossword puzzle as my galpal
swears at the Jets.
 
Which talent would you most like to have? 
Dancing like a fly girl.

What is your current state of mind? 
Serene, but a little sad about 2 a.m., but then there's coffee. I drink too much coffee don't you think?.
 
What do you consider your greatest achievement? 
My relationships.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? 
A mini-Cooper convertible.
 
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? 
Hungry children.
 
What is your favorite occupation? 
Making people laugh.
 
What is your most marked characteristic? 
Reserve.
 
What is the quality you most like in a man? 
His wife.
 
What is the quality you most like in a woman? 
Self-confidence.
 
Who are your favorite writers? 
Alison Bechdel, Annie Dillard, Adrienne Rich, Mark Doty
 
Who is your favorite hero of fiction? 
Currently, it's Lou Bigelow in The Maytress by Annie Dillard
 
Who are your heroes in real life? 
Anyone who comes out.
 
What is it that you most dislike? 
Hypocrisy and stupidity.

How would you like to die? 
Much later.
 
What is your motto? 
I couldn't care less.  No wait.  I'm caring less.
 
What is your favorite word? 
Brisket.

What is your least favorite word? 
Plethora.

What turns you on? 
Anything George Clooney.

What turns you off? 
All these questions.
 
What sound or noise do you love? 
Waves.

What sound or noise do you hate? 
Any unidentifiable low hum in the night.

What is your favorite curse word? 
Feck.

What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt? 
Teaching high school English, again.
 
Who should play you in the movie of your life? 
George Clooney
 
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive
at the Pearly Gates? 
Does this robe make me look fat?
 
Finally, Do you have a shameless   plug? 
Vote early and often for Hillary Clinton.