Sandra Bernhard
By Tim Gaskin

Would you believe that before Sandra Bernhard began her career as a stand-up comedian she was a manicurist for a posh L.A. salon? She’s even posed nude for Playboy Magazine. So it shouldn’t surprise you that the performer who has been challenging fans and critics with her knife-edged humor, satire and emotive performances on film, television and stage will be performing at the Miss Trannyshack Pageant 2007!

What are you most known for?
My wonderful abstract paintings.

What is your greatest fear?
That I won’t be able to upgrade to first class.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Elizabeth the First

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I’m gassy.

What is your greatest extravagance?
I wish I had one.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Big tits.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Honey!

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My daughter and my girlfriend.

Which talent would you most like to have?
To be a great sculptor

What is your current state of mind?
Wintery

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would have a higher arch in my foot

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
I’m totally satisfied as my self, thank you

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Neely O’Hara

Who are your heroes in real life?
Chrissi Hynde, Roseanne, Hilary Clinton, Natalie Maines

What is it that you most dislike?
Dirty bathrooms

What is your motto?
Put it out there, take control, be compassionate

What turns you on?
Nude dancing and thinly sliced sushi

What turns you off?
Airport security.

Who should play you in the movie of your life?
A young Julie Christie

Finally, Do you have a shameless plug?
2008 is the 20th anniversary of “Without You I’m Nothing.” So to celebrate, I’m hitting the road with a revival / reworking that will blow your minds! See you there!