Suzanne Kay Westenhoefer
Kicking open the door for gay comics everywhere
By Tim Gaskin

Westenhoefer has made a career out of telling the truth. And, the truth is, life is funny and no one is off limits. She works mostly unscripted, so when she hits the stage it’s an unpredictable, original night of comedy magic.

What are you most known for? being a funny open lesbian comedian

Where did your life begin? Columbia, Pennsylvania

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Perfect happiness is a brand new blank NYT Sunday crossword puzzle fire

Which historical figure do you most identify with? Truman Capote.  He could never find a way to fit in even though he was so talented.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I am deeply insecure

What is your greatest extravagance? Getting my hair cut at Jose Eber in Bevery Hills

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Morality

What is your favorite journey? Driving to my mom's house from anywhere

What do you dislike most about your appearance? I could be thinner....

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "Completely"  "Yeah, right?",  "Do you know what I mean?"

What is your greatest regret? I regret I didn't start stand up at 19 years of age

What or who is the greatest love of your life? Jennifer Houston

When and where were you happiest? as a young child with my sister, mom and grandparents on Xmas eve

Which talent would you most like to have? I would like to be able to sing/play an instrument

What is your current state of mind? as always....anxiety

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would make myself wiser

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Kicking open the door for open gay comics everywhere

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
I would come back as a cat owned by lesbians in a beautiful condo that doesn't allow dogs.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Misery is poverty and neglect. Misery is abuse and war.  Misery is religion.

What is your favorite occupation? Teachers.  They rule the world but don't know it

What is your most marked characteristic? my most marked characteristic is my eyes or that's what people say...

Who are your favorite writers? Carson McCullers, Truman Capote, Stephen King, John Irving, David Sedaris

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Jenny Fields in The World According to Garp

Who are your heroes in real life? My mother, Col Grethe Cammemeyer, Rosie O'Donnell

What is it that you most dislike? I dislike most major religions and the practice of looking to a "god."  It will surely be the end of us all.

How would you like to die? I would like to die in the late afternoon after reading a great book lying on the sofa with Jennifer.

What is your motto? My motto is "everyone deserves a bunch of chances, we can always grow, learn and change."

What turns you on? Passion, intellect and grace, these are my turn ons

What turns you off? Fundamentalism in any form

What sound or noise do you love? I love the sound of a great woman vocalist.  Makes me weep.

What sound or noise do you hate? Fire alarms

What is your favorite curse word? Diaphanous

What is your least favorite word? Cunt

What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt? I would like to be a psychiatrist (mostly to freak outthe sciencetologists)

What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in? Any kind of mining or drilling

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "You were right!  I am not omnipotent and religion is a terrible human tragedy!"

Finally, Do you have a shameless plug? See my LOGO special on Oct 23rd! That's pretty shameless.